Plantronics makes me feel dorky

Dear Plantronics,

Please stop manufacturing such dorky-looking bluetooth headsets that make me resemble the weird business development guy, somebody on the Starship Enterprise, or a person trying too hard to be cool.

I love your products. I had the Voyager 510, which served me well over the years until the flexible part sort of fell apart. I loved it so much that I considered simply reinforcing it with electrical tape until I realized that such a thing was probably the equivalent of using masking tape to fix your broken Buddy Holly-style nerd glasses. For the sake of my children, I opted to buy a new headset.

Although at this moment Amazon appears to be selling the 510 once again, I was under the impression that you had discontinued this model, which I always thought was very me. It didn't attempt to look futuristic, yet its design was sleek and simple.

I headed to Best Buy with the intention of either securing the last 510 or, if unsuccessful, buying one of your new headsets, probably the 520. I discovered two things: 1) they had no 510s; and 2) all bluetooth headsets look super lame--even the Jabra, which was the best-looking of the bunch. I actually considered spending $20 more and enjoying less features just to avoid wearing one of your models.

So there I was comparing the Voyager 520 with the Jabra BT530, both with an emphasis on noise reduction. In one hand, I had a trusted brand but a very ugly headset. In the other hand, I had an untested brand but a much better looking headset (still not perfect, though). The former had great information on their packaging. The second had beautiful packing but no real technical details given. One seemed known but unpleasing. The other was unknown but more attractive.

I opted for the Jabra BT530 and headed for the checkout line, where I waited for the next cashier. I was still conflicted when I noticed, among the magazines and candy, an endcap featuring these very models--and only these two models--as if a higher being was trying to urge me to reconsider. I took it as a sign and ditched the Jabra for the Plantronics 520.

Frankly, I feel that the 510 was a better headset, but the 520 does the job. I like that you included a car charger (which the Jabra did not have) and that the headset can connect to two phones. And I trust you. I haven't reconsidered my choice.

However, in the end, I'm happy but not thrilled, which is unfortunate. And I'm embarrassed when I wear this terribly ugly headset. No offense to Jon Cryer, but the 520 is like Duckie (who Andie theoretically should have ended up with but frankly would be asking too much of any teenager), and I really wish you were more like Blane.

I can't help but wonder who your audience is. I can't help but believe it has to include me, which makes me ask, Why have you let me down?

-joanie


P.S. Please note that just because I'm a woman, I do not want the headset to be pink or bejeweled. I would, instead, like it to be less chunky, wedge-shaped, and chrome-y.