Dear AT&T,
I am not a part of your family. Please don't say I am.
Even if at the end of a conversation your customer service representative thanks me for being a part of it, I am still not a part of your family. We're not even friends. We just don't have that kind of relationship because you're just not that kind of company, and calling me your family isn't going to convince me that you care about me or that I should care about you.
If you want to show you care, how about delivering unparalleled network coverage, unmatched customer service, and great pricing? Or how about doing even one of these well? Instead, I think of your service as a necessary evil like paying taxes or clipping my toenails.
So don't call me your family, and the sooner, the better. It makes me hate you more for being both presumptuous and out-of-touch. The remark completely belies the fact that I call you only when I have problems.
Unlike family, I didn't call to say "I love you" or "I miss you" or even "I need advice." I called because you were charging me for a blackberry media plan when I didn't even have a blackberry, and when I had it removed, you took my text messaging away. To make matters worse, I didn't even know, which means I was sending text messages into the ether without so much as a failure notice. My friends got made at me for blowing them off, and that's when I called you.
I suppose there's some guy in Marketing or Customer Relations who decided that thanking me for being a part of your family would impart a sense of warmth. Let me tell you that instead it gives the impression that you think being a part of your family is a good thing. Have you considered that maybe people aren't interested in being a part of someone else's family, let alone a corporate entity? You're not even real, and "family" is just a metaphor to you.
You're not going to convince people that you're a deserving company until you turn the tables and start doing things that will make people want you to be in their family.
-joanie
